That's the only one I know.įARSAD: And also, the list includes Drake, Mark Wahlberg and Oprah, but we should have expected Oprah to be on that list after she named global warming one of her favorite things.īURKE: And you get a flood, and you get a flood, and.įARSAD: OK, Kristen, here's your next quote. KONDABOLU: That's the only one I can remember. She just has to shake it off.īURKE: By the way, that's also the one song I can remember (laughter). I mean, she's named after a bird.įARSAD: (Laughter) But it's crazy because, like, how has she been on this plane all but 30 days this year? Is there, like, alternate side of the plane parking where she lives?įARSAD: Like, is she running errands where she's like, oh, I only shop at the Trader Joe's in Bali. Also, Taylor Swift already sounds like an airline. KONDABOLU: We should be questioning this report.īURKE: I just think any time there's a chart, Taylor Swift has to be No. 1 on this list, but who made the report? Did you know who made the report? It's Jake Gyllenhaal and John Mayer.
KONDABOLU: I mean, look, Taylor Swift is No. Second is boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr., who's a lot less confusing to hate. 1 culprit is Taylor Swift whose jet has flown 170 out of the first 200 days of this year. I mean, it was a 20-minute drive.įARSAD: The report lists the carbon footprints of celebrities and found the No. Here we go.įARSAD: That was one Taylor Swift fan responding to a new report that she uses her what more than any other celebrity?įARSAD: Honestly, I knew she was trouble when she flew in.
KRISTEN: The sad thing is, you guys are my weekly source of news, so we'll see how I do.įARSAD: Amazing. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize, any voice from our show you choose on your voicemail. You're going to play Who's Bill This Time? Bill Kurtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. 9th and 10th, it's Hari Kondabolu.įARSAD: All right. 8th through the 20th and Bananas Comedy Club in Rutherford, N.J., on Sept. 8th, it's Adam Burke.įARSAD: Next, the writer behind the Ask Amy column - her newsletter is on Substack - it's Amy Dickinson.įARSAD: And finally, a comedian you can see at the Helium Comedy Club in Portland, Ore., from Aug. First up, a comedian you can see at the White Rabbit Cabaret in Indianapolis Aug. Well, Kristen, let me introduce you to our panel. We're getting there.ĪDAM BURKE: Are they in the room currently listening to this? Is this a hint?ĪMY DICKINSON: Kristen, it's - this is the best you're going to be able to do, I hate to tell you.įARSAD: They never leave.
KRISTEN: Sort of out of the house, sort of not yet. I have three semi-grown-up kids.įARSAD: Semi-grown-up? What does that mean? DON'T TELL ME!įARSAD: Houston, so - oh, is it just lovely there this time of year? Or. Now let's welcome our first listener contestant. Everyone's healthy, which means the only reason Peter isn't here this week is he's lazy.įARSAD: But we know you're not.
Oops i crapped my pants snl transcript free#
Great news - Peter and his family are finally free of COVID. It's so great to be here filling in for Peter. Filling in for Peter Sagal, it's Negin Farsad. KURTIS: I'm Bill Kurtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Ill. UNIDENTIFIED PERSON, BYLINE: The following program was taped in front of an audience of real, live people.īILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT.
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